Strength and Dignity
Honestly, I have struggled with this challenge of writing/speaking about our struggles through this very difficult time. It is hard to put into words how you’re feeling through an experience that is literally something no one I know has ever gone through before.
The first time Chris and I heard about the Coronavirus was when we were meeting with a lender to purchase our first home. We were excited to hear that our interest rate was low because of some “Chinese virus”. My thoughts were…okay, this is awesome! Flashforward to today…it is NOT awesome.
I went from being an excited wife who was looking forward to potentially buying our first home that we have worked so hard for, to a person who has been overwhelmed, anxious, and downright stressed. Through the grace of God, we have become a more financially stable little family who wants to purchase their own home. We put an offer in on a house which was not accepted. Little did I know, God was watching over us in that moment.
Last month Chris was temporarily made to work shorter hours with less pay. The stress set in for us. Will we have a job at the end of this? Is our field of work deemed “essential”? Rylee’s birthday has been indefinitely postponed which broke my heart. We cannot go over to my dad’s house to spend time like we normally would. Rylee cannot see her Papa and Grammy and Aunt Allie without it being through a door or 6 feet away…or a bunny suit!
For about two weeks I let the stress and anxiety take over me. I wasn’t getting as dressed up for work, no makeup, and looked totally like I rolled in out of bed. Then it clicked in me one day. ENOUGH! I reminded myself of my favorite Bible Verse of all time which has brought me through some of the hardest times of my life. Proverbs 31: 25 reads “She is clothed in strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future.” I have since picked myself up, leaned more on God and now look like a functioning human being again at work.
I know eventually in God’s time we will all get through this. We will be able to buy that home we so desperately want. We will be able to do a birthday party for Rylee. We will be able to hug our family again. But one thing I know for sure, is we can’t do it without God and one another.
I hope everyone is trying their best to stay safe. We love and miss each and every one of you. Rylee said the other day to me “I miss church.” I pray in the next couple months we will be able to walk through those doors and hear her sing and praise God. Love you all!!